I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. Matt Demon is one of those east-coast abortion and science lovers that are ruining this country. First off, Matt Demon, it would make an AWESOME Disney movie and we are already in talks with there people to get this movie made. The mom from Everybody Loves Raymond is going to play me (I think Jamie Lee Curtis would actually be better at playing me, but she is a stupid liberel) and Tom Selleck is going to be Todd. I don't want to give the plot of the movie away but I can promise that it is going to have lots of comedy and jokes. Second, Matt Demon, why don't you try and make realistic action movies like Red Dawn instead of all those totally fake Jason Born movies (as governor of Alaska I live with the reality that the Soviet Union and Cuba could attack at anytime- something Matt Demon doesn't have to worry about).
I mean, really, where do you get off Matt Demon? Instead of hating America why don't you just go to Afganistan and try to live there and that way people will never have to here about your stupid ideas. I hate you so much!!!!1!! You are the worst movie star ever and I hope you and Ben Affleck get a stupid disease and have STUPID LIVES with your muscles and boyish good looks and your carisma!
Oh, what's the use...I have to admit to all of you that Matt's comments REALLY hurt me. I can take it when my two-faced friends in Alaska say that they might not vote for me (to you 'ladies'- don't be surprised if your husbands end up taking an unplanned trip to Cuba when I am VP), but this is Matt Damon we are talking about. I know that he is a liberel and hates me but I was really hoping that if I was Vice President he and I could hang out, maybe have a couple of drinks, listen to some music. Nothing inappropriate (don't worry- Todd! You are the only one for me!), just two friends spending some time together, but I guess that isn't possible now :(
Please, please be a joke.